Honoring my Mom at our Family Rehearsal Dinner Celebration

Last weekend my younger brother Ryan got married! It was a beautiful weekend filled with love and celebration and some bittersweet feelings of wishing my Mom was there to celebrate with us. I had to actively remind myself that the weekend was a celebration of love and new beginnings, not a time to wallow in sadness and focus only on the one person who we wished was there.

I had the honor to share some of my Mom’s life guidance at the rehearsal dinner and then share some thoughts as part of the wedding ceremony. It’s not only guidance for newlyweds, but all around solid life advice that I lean on throughout my days as challenges come up in work, life, and in relationships with others (friends, family, neighbors, etc). Here are some of the statements from her journal (in bold) I shared at the rehearsal dinner and then I expand on them with my thoughts.

Live in the now. It is SO easy to live in the past and in the future but I find it very hard to live in the moment. This is something I have been working on – being fully present, fully engaged, and full of gratitude for the moment I am living in right now. A short morning prayer our family loves to say is, Thank you for this perfect day. Truth and Love point out the way. Calm and exalted each morning I pray. Thank you for this perfect day.

Let go of pre-planned outcomes. This is one I need to work on too – my Mom and I called this “talking story.” I create expectations and pre-planned outcomes in my thought and then I don’t communicate them to anyone… this is a setup for disappointment! Instead, use the first tip of living in the moment and go with the flow. Life does not go according to our plans so if you can, try to release control and enjoy how things naturally unfold.

Remove self-will, let go of judgements and self-justification. I feel like this one ties in with pre-planned outcomes which is in essence, self-will and wanting to make sure things go how you planned. This statement allows us to love others for exactly who they are and puts aside ego and righteousness. It’s very easy to get wrapped up in everything you are doing right and what everyone else is doing wrong. Again, this is a trap that causes you to live your life in a negative space and that does not serve you in any way.

Live your life within the space of expectant good and joyous expression. Yes! Expect good (and only good!) in your every day and face life with joy and positivity. This can be hard when things are tough but if you can find one thing you are grateful for it has the power to shift your entire perspective. We fill the space around us with our feelings – put those good positivity vibes out there!

Remember this always, love is what this whole experience is all about. This was a phrase my Mom said to my younger brother the week she passed away. This is a powerful reminder – Love fills all space. Love is present. Love is providing you with all that you need. Love is there to encourage and comfort you. Love is All. All is Love.